Respite Care Can Save a Caregiver’s Sanity | by Linda Brendle

I Need a Break!

If you are or ever have been a caregiver, you know how important it is to get a break now and then. I read an article this morning by Jeff Anderson called Tips for Taking Caregiver Vacations: Respite Care. Jeff wrote mostly about how caregivers can use short-term stays at residential care facilities to get a break. I never took advantage of this kind of respite care. The idea of making the arrangements for both Mom and Dad and packing their clothes and medications, not to mention the expense involved, was overwhelming. But there were many other kinds of respite care that gave me an occasional break in the routine and saved my sanity.

Mini-Breaks

Even when Dad could no longer hear much of what was going on and Mom couldn’t understand what she heard, we continued to go to Sunday School and worship services every Sunday. I dropped Mom and Dad at a class for older adults before going to my own class and picked them up afterward on the way to the sanctuary. It was amazing what that hour did to raise my spirits.

The Last Transition – Moving into Assisted Living

A few weeks ago, the good people at Assisted Living Directory asked me to write an article for their website. I wrote a brief account of Mom and Dad’s journey from independent living through moving in with us and on to assisted living. The article featured one of my favorite pictures with this caption:

Senior Humor – Edition 15 | by Linda Brendle

Last month www.Ageingcare.com posted an article by Marlo Sollitto called LOL: Why You Should Laugh Even When You Don’t Feel Like It. It said that laughter is good for you both physically and mentally. The author acknowledged that caregivers often find nothing funny in their lives, but even fake laughter can have positive effects. I sometimes wonder if my caregiving experience would have been easier for all of us if I had laughed more.

Two elderly ladies met at the grocery store after not seeing one another for some time.

“Oh, Helen, it’s so good to see you. How are you doing?”

“You know how it is, Joan. I’m not bad for a woman of my age. How about you?”

“I know what you mean. Other than a high this and a low that I’m fine. How’s Ted?”

Breakfast Adventures – Part 4 (Dad’s Breakfast)

This is the last of a four-part saga. If you missed parts one and two and three, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read part 1 , here to read part 2 and here to read part 3.)

###

While Mom played tag with her eggs and apples, Dad was having his own little breakfast adventure. His use of utensils has become a little unorthodox over the past couple of years, especially since his right hand is a little numb from a stroke, but he gets the job done. He got through his eggs, sausage, and apples without incident, but his approach was unusual. After the first few bites of his meal, he pulled the saucer of pancakes closer to him and scooped up a good-sized bite of the ball of butter that was melting on top. Oh, yuck! I thought as I watched him pop the greasy mass into his mouth, but if he shared my feelings, he didn’t show it. He continued to eat without missing a beat. Then he started breaking off bite-sized pieces of pancake with his fingers, using them to push the slippery eggs onto his fork and to sop up the egg yolk from his plate. When the eggs, sausage, and apples were gone, he still had a pancake and a half left on his saucer. He pinched off another bite and stared at the plate with a kind of blank stare while he chewed. It was time for me to intervene.

Breakfast Adventures – Part 3 (Mom’s Breakfast)

This is the third of a four-part saga. If you missed parts one and two, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read part 1 and here to read part 2.)

###

The food came before she could get too bored or too disgruntled, but when it came, she was a little dismayed at all the choices laid out in front of her. To deal with her mealtime confusion, she has adopted a one-thing-at-a-time method of eating. I don’t know if the eggs looked the most appetizing or the least intimidating, but that’s where she started. While she worked to cut off a bite-sized piece with the edge of her fork, I took charge of her pancake-filled saucer. I spread the butter, cut the pancakes into manageable pieces, and doused the whole thing with syrup.

Breakfast Adventures – Part 2 (Ordering)

This is the second of a four-part saga. If you missed yesterday’s post, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read yesterday’s post.)

###

After the blood tests were finished, we got back into the car with a minimum of confusion and headed for the Village Inn. With the odds at 2 to 1, I didn’t want to go somewhere I had to order at a counter or go through a buffet line. I wanted to sit at a table, order our food, and have it brought to us. The Village Inn fit that bill, and it was Wednesday, so we got free pie, too. I pulled into a parking space close to the door and prayed for a nice, peaceful breakfast.

Breakfast Adventures – Part 1 (The Lab) | by Linda Brendle

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venipuncture

I was going through some old files last night looking for an outline I thought I had started on a book idea. I never found the outline, but I came across something I wrote on November 3, 2010 after taking Mom and Dad to the lab to have some bloodwork done and then out to breakfast. It was just six weeks before they moved from my home into an assisted living facility near my brother Jim. I was rapidly approaching burnout, and I wrote this saga to get rid of some of the tension from the outing. I posted it in my Facebook notes, but I didn’t start my blog until six or seven months later, so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s rather long, so I’ve broken it into four parts and will publish a part each day from now through Friday.

###

It’s 10:30 in the morning, and I’m exhausted. Today was test day for Mom and Dad. They have their six-month check-up with their PCP next week, and they had an appointment at 8:40 this morning at the lab. Since they had to go in fasting, I planned to take them to breakfast afterward. I knew it would be an adventure. I was right.

Who Are You? | by Linda Brendle

A friend who is also a caregiver recently confided in me that one of the hardest parts of her job is not knowing who will greet her when she gets up in the morning. Will it be the confident, efficient, take-charge man she has known for half a century, or will it be the man who is struggling with a life-threatening illness, the one whose mind is fogged by pain and medications, the one who can’t remember how to tie his shoes?

I Want My Pills! | by Linda Brendle

Photo from KOA, Clayton, NM
http://koa.com/campgrounds/clayton/

 

This morning I took part in an on-line discussion on a caregiver website about medications for our carees. Medications played a big part in my stint as a caregiver, and I thought I’d share a section about the subject from my book.

 

Day 34, KOA Campground, Clayton, New Mexico:

 

We had a relaxing evening with laundry, dinner, TV, and medication maintenance. This twice a month job involved sorting various pharmaceuticals into pill organizers for The Kids. They were fascinated by the procedure and offered predictable comments.

Fighting Death | by Linda Brendle

Yesterday I cited an article from an AgingCare.com newsletter about Daylight Savings Time. The newsletter had another article by the same author, Anne-Marie Botek, titled “Why a Nurse Refused to Give a Dying Woman CPR.” It was about the controversy surrounding the death of an 87-year-old woman who was a resident of Glenwood Gardens, an “independent living facility” in Bakersfield, California. When the woman collapsed, a staff member called 911. The staff member was a nurse, and the 911 operator pleaded with her to administer CPR until the paramedics arrived, but the nurse refused, citing facility policy against doing so. The ambulance arrived within minutes and transported the patient to the hospital where she was later pronounced dead. Shocking, right? When I first heard the story on the O’Reilly Factor last week, I thought so, but after reading this article and thinking about Mom and Dad’s situations, I’m not so sure.