On caregivers, faith, family, and writing…

It’s just a few days until the election, and I thought we all needed a little break.

An older woman went into a store to buy curtains.

She approached the salesman and said, “I want those pink curtains in the display, but I need them customized to fit my computer screen.”

“Ma’am,” said the salesman, “I’ve worked here for 20 years, and I’ve never had a request like that. Why do you need curtains for your computer?”

“Hellooo,” said the woman. “I have windows!”

Many older people don’t understand electronics. The wisdom of seniors is if you need tech support, call your grandkids. My Aunt Fay is an exception. She is 88 and has used her computer to take a couple of college courses, compile a history of her church, research the genealogy of her family, and keep in touch with her family by e-mail. She was on Facebook for a while, but she it was a bit racy for her, so she closed her account. She might ask for help in learning to use the Dragon software her daughter bought her so she can write the family history, but she would never put curtains on her computer screen!

A very elderly gentleman walked into an upscale cocktail lounge. He was very well dressed, his hair was well groomed, he had on a great looking suit with a flower in his lapel and he smelled slightly of a good after shave. He spotted a nice-looking older woman seated at the bar next to an empty stool. He walked over, sat down, ordered a drink and turned to her.

“So tell me,” he said with a smile. “Do I come here often?”

There’s an old saying that goes just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there isn’t fire in the furnace. Mom wasn’t interested in finding a boyfriend after Dad died, but that’s not always the case. The Senior Center here in Emory has seen three romances bloom and lead to the altar in the last few years.

A student nurse was told that the patient in room 212 was being discharged and was ready to be escorted to his vehicle. Hospital regulations required a wheelchair for patients being discharged, so she found one that wasn’t being used and went to the room. An elderly gentleman was dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He insisted he didn’t need her help to leave the hospital, but after a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, she asked him if his wife was meeting him.

“I don’t know”, he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

I can picture this happening to Dad. He and Mom looked at those in the medical profession as being a step or two above us common folks. They never doubted or asked questions, and they never went against doctor’s orders unless the orders involved exercising or cutting down on Blue Bell.

Londonbus

Londonbus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A group of senior citizens was taking an overseas tour, and they were spending several days in London. On their first day there, the tour guide loaded them aboard a double-decker bus for a tour of the city.

The seniors on the lower level were partying and having a great time, when they realized there was no noise coming from upstairs.

The tour guide decided to go up and investigate. When he reached the top, he found all the passengers frozen in fear, staring straight ahead, clutching the armrests with white knuckles.

“What’s going on up here?” he said. “Everyone is having a great time downstairs.”

“Yeah,” said a man in the front row. “But you’ve got a driver!”

I never had the chance to travel overseas with Mom and Dad, but we traveled with them a lot in the motorhome. Their child-like trust kept them from being afraid, even at times when fear might have been in order. Following is a short excerpt from my book that tells about one such time:

We went a few more miles and turned off the Interstate onto a long straight stretch of asphalt between miles of flat pastureland. The landscape was broken now and then by a single farm house or a lone windmill – but no rest areas. I gave everybody coffee and cookies to ward off hunger pangs, but the miles just kept coming. Finally, we decided to eat en route. I passed out sandwiches, but David didn’t want to eat while he drove. He had been after me to get a little more “seat time,” so the plan was for me to eat and then switch with him.

Now comes the part where I have to say, Kids, don’t try this at home. I can’t say the part about our being professionals. We’re just too dumb to know better.

When I finished eating, there was still no rest area in sight.

“I’m ready when you are,” I said.

He looked up and down the long straight stretch of road with nary another vehicle in sight, and I knew what he was thinking. “Can you do this?” he said.

“I can if you can,” I said.

He unbuckled his seat belt, tilted the steering wheel forward, and stood up toward the center of the coach with one hand on the wheel. The cruise control was set, so there was no break in speed. I slid behind him into the driver’s seat, took the wheel, adjusted it and the seat, and belted in. Sometimes ya’ just gotta be a little crazy.

Blessings,

Linda

Senior Humor – Edition 1 

Senior Humor – Edition 2

Senior Humor  – Edition 3

Senior Humor – Edition 4

Senior Humor – Edition 5

Senior Humor – Edition 6

Senior Humor – Edition 7

Senior Humor – Edition 8

Senior Humor – Edition 9

Senior Humor – Edition 10

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Comments on: "Senior Humor – Edition 11 | by Linda Brendle" (2)

  1. Linda, I loved that post. My grandmother and even my dad are those people that follow doctor’s orders as if God himself had sent them directly through the doctor. Except instead of Blue Bell for my dad it’s smoking. And I’m afraid to just hold the steering wheel for someone while they’re driving, so you’re a much braver lady than I am.

    • Thanks, Krista. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I think revering doctors is a generational thing. I think that, as much money as I’m paying them, they need to spend a little more time listening to me! As far as our “stupid people trick,” I’m not sure if it was bravery, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
      Blessings,
      Linda

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