The December 29 issue of the AgingCare.com newsletter featured an article called “10 Things That Make You Feel Old – and What To Do About Them.” It contained some good information about exercise, diet, mental stimulation and other areas of concern, but I thought they omitted some other quite obvious things. So here’s my top ten list of things that can make you feel old and what to do about them.
- Waiters and waitresses who automatically give you the senior discount. Tip only the ones who ask for proof of age, and we will eventually get them all trained.
- Children who are beginning to complain about double chins and thinning hair. Threaten to disinherit them unless they get a face lift and lie about their age.
- Doctors who associate most of your aches and pains with the number of years you’ve been alive. Start a campaign to make the phrase “at your age” politically incorrect.
- Shopping for clothes. Do business only with stores with dressing room mirrors that show you from the waist up and have flattering lighting.
- Junk mail and spam that offers you special discounts on scooter chairs and discreet delivery of incontinence supplies. Write your congressman asking him or her to forget trivial matters like the fiscal cliff and focus on banning this ongoing effort to undermine our belief that we’re still 25 years old.
- When your arms aren’t quite long enough to bring those last few lines of the contract into focus. Write that same congressman about outlawing fine print.
- When kids start making comments about your gray hair and wrinkles. Remind the parents of these rug rats that children should be seen and not heard.
- Sitting on a beach next to a group of twenty-somethings with Scarlett O’Hara waistlines and bikinis the size of postage stamps. Cover your legs with a beach towel and offer the girls chocolate – lots of it.
- Everyone at your high school reunion looks the way you remember their grandparents looking, and all the conversation centers around ailments and Medicare supplements. Don’t go to high school reunions.
- You discover that your first car is now considered an antique. There is no remedy for this one.
As the years begin to pile up, remember what my brother Jim says: Getting old is mandatory; growing up is not. Stay young at heart.
- Top Ten Ways to Know You’re Getting Old | by Linda Brendle (lifeaftercaregiving.wordpress.com)
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- Wishing You a Messy New Year – Again | by Linda Brendle (lifeaftercaregiving.wordpress.com)