While I was visiting my granddaughter last month, I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
“This is the 21st century,” she said. “I don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.”
I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.
Before Mom and Dad moved in with me, I bought them a computer. I thought they would enjoy playing games on it and keeping up with their grandkids by e-mail. They never got the hang of it, though, and it became one more thing to collect dust. Thankfully, it was a desk top, so it was too big to be used as a flyswatter.
A highway patrolman was running radar when a car went speeding past. He flipped on his lights and siren and gave chase. When the car showed no signs of slowing down, he pulled alongside and glanced in the window. He was astounded to see and elderly woman behind the wheel, knitting. He tried in vain to get her attention, so he lowered his right-hand window and turned on his bullhorn.
“PULL OVER!” he yelled.
“NO,” the woman yelled back. “IT’S A SCARF!”
As Mom’s Alzheimer’s got worse, she began to have wardrobe malfunctions on a regular basis. I remember the morning when I finally decided I needed to begin helping her get dressed. She came out of her bedroom with her jeans on under her nightgown, her shoes on the wrong feet, and her bra on over her nightgown. Maybe she thought it was a scarf.
An elderly gentleman had the windows in his house replaced with new double insulated energy efficient windows. Twelve months later he got a call from the contractor.
“I put your windows in a year ago, and you have yet to make a single payment. You’ve ignored the payment notices and late notices. If you don’t send payment immediately, I’ll have to refer this to my attorney.”
“Don’t you try to pull a fast one on me, Sonny,” said the old man. “The salesman who sold me those windows told me that in one year they would pay for themselves.”
Unscrupulous people often prey on the innocence and the fears of the elderly. In this instance, I think the senior citizen came out on top.
Two older women were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. After fifteen minutes without success, the woman with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath.
“Hurry up,” said her friend anxiously. “It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”
Taking the car keys away from a loved one is one of the hardest things a caregiver has to do. But once in a while, something happens that makes it obvious that the time has come.