On caregivers, faith, family, and writing…

ConfusedCommunicating with an Alzheimer or dementia patient is one of the most frustrating parts of caring for them. Following are a few suggestions of things to say and not to say based on my own experience. Do you have other suggestions?


Don’t say:


1. Do you remember when…? They don’t remember.


2. I already told you that. See #1 – they don’t remember.


3. Why did you do (or say) that? They don’t even remember doing it much less why.


4. You know him. You met him at the Christmas party last year.


They don’t even remember Christmas.


5. Which outfit would you like to wear today? They can’t make a choice.


 6. What would you like for breakfast? See #5.


Do say:


1. I love you.


Even when they have forgotten who you are, somewhere deep inside they can feel the love.


2. Repeat #1 as often as possible  




Comments on: "Things an Alzheimer Caregiver Shouldn’t Say – and Things They Should | by Linda Brendle" (8)

  1. Great list and insights Linda. Your list would be easily printable and hung somewhere like a fridge…for a reminder and reference.

  2. Thanks, David. I hope it helps someone.

  3. Great list! I find myself saying the second half to my aunt when she uses the first with my Mom. Aunt is in the earlier stages of dementia, Mom in the later where her short term memory is completely shot. I may take David’s advice and hang this advice on the fridge in hopes that Aunt may get it at some point.

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