My elderly neighbor and his wife decided at the last minute to go out to dinner.
“We’d like a table for two,” said the husband to the hostess.
“Do you have a reservation?” she said.
“No. Is that a problem?”
“Well,” she said, “we’re pretty busy tonight. It will be about 45 minute before I can seat you.
“Young lady, we’re both 90 years old. We may not have 45 minutes.”
She seated them immediately.
As Mom got older, she became more impatient. She complained if we had to wait for a table or if the waitress was slow in taking our order. She really complained if we had to wait more than a few minutes for our food, and once she was finished eating, she was ready to leave immediately. I should have tried this old gentleman’s technique.
Bob and Jane had another of their frequent tiffs. In tears, Jane called her mother.
“Mom, Bob didn’t like my meatloaf, and we had a terrible fight. Can I come stay with you?”
The wise old woman thought for a minute.
“No,” she said. “He has to pay for his mistakes. I’m coming to stay with you for a while.”
I’ll bet next time Bob will eat Jane’s meatloaf and likes it!
An old woman was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was bored, so he asked the woman to play a game of trivia with him. She was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds.
“Every time you can’t answer my question, you’ll owe me $5, but every time I can’t answer yours, I’ll give you $50.”
He figured the old woman was probably senile and he couldn’t lose. She thought for a few minutes and reluctantly agreed to play his game. The lawyer went first.
“What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word, she reached in her purse and handed him $5. Then it was her turn.
“What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
The lawyer’s was puzzled. He spent several hours doing research on his laptop and even placing several air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he handed her $50.00. She put the money in her purse without saying a word.
“Well,” said the lawyer. “What’s the answer?”
With a grin and a wink, the old woman reached in her purse and handed him another five-dollar bill.
Never underestimate the wisdom of old age.