Tuesday I reviewed Pamela Thorson’s new book, Out from the Shadows: 31 Devotions for the Weary Caregiver, and yesterday I posted Part 1 of my interview with the author. Today, I’m posting Pam’s answers to my last four questions.
5. What is the most difficult aspect of your caregiving journey?
Dealing with the loss, especially in the early years. I talk a lot about this in my first book. In his book, Traveling Light, Max Lucado talks about grieving over the “nevers” in our lives. Kevin’s injury was so devastating, we were first told he would never move or breathe on his own again. He could never come home to live. He might not even live at all. He nearly died twice times during the first weeks.
He recuperated enough to come home. He eventually breathed on his own again and regained some feeling and movement. But other layers of loss unfolded around us as new “nevers” loomed ahead: He believed he would never marry and have the family he had always dreamed of. He would never feel the grass beneath his feet, throw his arms around us in a hug, or feed himself a real meal.
We had “nevers” of our own. Our other children lost a normal childhood. We lost the dreams of retirement and travel, or even a whole weekend alone together.
Eventually, joy has replaced the “nevers.” We have gained so much more than we have lost. Caring for Kevin has been an honor. We have a more profound appreciation of the sacrifices our Savior made to care for us when we were broken.
(more…)
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