I can’t say they were really happy moments, but the most freeing moments in my time as a caregiver were those times when I accepted the things I couldn’t change. I think that many caregivers share a secret belief that, if they do everything just right, their loved one will get better. While this may be true in some cases, it is not usually the case when dealing with Alzheimer’s and dementia. The best you can hope for is to accept that their lives are controlled by their diseases, and that the disease is beyond the control of mere mortals. That moment of acceptance is heart-wrenching, but it gives the caregiver the freedom to stop fighting the unchangeable and to spend all his or her energy on caring and love.