Published in the Rains County Leader on January 26, 2016:
I can’t decide if this week was so uneventful that nothing unusual has happened or if so much has happened that I haven’t had time to contemplate the deeper meanings of any one event. Either way, when I sat down to write, the only thought that crossed my mind was I got nothin’.
I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions, but I guess they were all busy watching play-off games. Nobody responded, and I ended up with what I started with – nothin’.
I looked through old blog posts hoping for inspiration but, you guessed it, nothin’ – nothing of substance anyway. However, when all else fails, fall back on a list. David Letterman taught us that the public loves a top ten list, even a bad one.
Back in 2013, I was trying to blog on a regular schedule, and I faced a blank screen on one of my scheduled days with the same problem I have now – nothin’. My solution was to write a blog titled “Ten Reasons Why I Didn’t Write a Blog Today.” Following is that list with some updated comments.
- My grandmother died (20 years ago). In simpler times, the bad boys on TV sit coms used this excuse regularly to explain absences from school. The teachers became suspicious when the 5th or 6th grandmother passed away, but in this day of blended families, there just might be that many.
- I used all my good ideas for the sites that require exclusive articles. I haven’t written for any exclusive websites lately, but I could say that I’ve used all my good ideas for the books I’m working on.
- I was too depressed after the Cowboy game. Even though their last game was three weeks ago, it takes me a long time to recover from a disappointment, even a predictable one.
- I was too engrossed in the novel I’m reading. Actually, I’ve been engrossed in a book I’m writing. I signed with Jessica Schmeidler of Golden Wheat Literary last week to represent my second memoir. She sent me several suggestions for improving my manuscript, and I have been absorbed in figuring out how to best implement her suggestions.
- I had to go to a church ice cream social. No ice cream social. This time it was a Missions Night and cookie and punch reception.
- My dog ate my mouse. This excuse would still be valid if I simply changed ‘My dog’ to
‘Kitty’. She is fascinated with my wireless mouse and frequently bats it onto the floor, and sometimes when I’m using it, she attacks my moving fingers.
- I was upset that I have to wear this stupid boot another six weeks. The original list was written while I was recovering from a broken ankle. Thankfully, the worst thing I’m dealing with now is a lingering cold.
- I had a brilliant post half written, but we had a power surge and I lost it. This excuse might be more believable if we were on the East Coast. I’ll live with our cold but clear weather and come up with another excuse.
- All the other bloggers already wrote about all the good stuff. I used to read Bonnie’s column and think ‘I wish I’d written that.’ Now I don’t even have that excuse.
- My muse is on hiatus due to the impending government shut down. To my knowledge, there is not a government shut down on the horizon, but the Stock Market is looking pretty shaky.
So, that’s why I didn’t come up with a blockbuster column this week. As my Aunt Fay would say, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.