Caregiving is a draining task. Running a car with a dry oil reservoir will burn up the engine. Trying to care for a loved one when you have run dry will result in caregiver burnout. Taking care of yourself and refilling those empty reserves of energy, love, patience, and compassion are a necessity not a luxury.
Blessings,
Linda
A LONG AND WINDING ROAD: A Caregiver’s Tale of Life, Love, and Chaos
Caregiving is a lonely job, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m not sure if it’s the pride of thinking no one can care for your loved one but you, or if it’s the guilt of feeling like you are shirking your duties if you take a break. Either way, too many caregivers try to shoulder the huge burden of caring all by themselves. (more…)
A few weeks ago, the good people at Assisted Living Directory asked me to write an article for their website. I wrote a brief account of Mom and Dad’s journey from independent living through moving in with us and on to assisted living. The article featured one of my favorite pictures with this caption: (more…)
This is the last of a four-part saga. If you missed parts one and two and three, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read part 1 , here to read part 2 and here to read part 3.)
###
While Mom played tag with her eggs and apples, Dad was having his own little breakfast adventure. His use of utensils has become a little unorthodox over the past couple of years, especially since his right hand is a little numb from a stroke, but he gets the job done. He got through his eggs, sausage, and apples without incident, but his approach was unusual. After the first few bites of his meal, he pulled the saucer of pancakes closer to him and scooped up a good-sized bite of the ball of butter that was melting on top. Oh, yuck! I thought as I watched him pop the greasy mass into his mouth, but if he shared my feelings, he didn’t show it. He continued to eat without missing a beat. Then he started breaking off bite-sized pieces of pancake with his fingers, using them to push the slippery eggs onto his fork and to sop up the egg yolk from his plate. When the eggs, sausage, and apples were gone, he still had a pancake and a half left on his saucer. He pinched off another bite and stared at the plate with a kind of blank stare while he chewed. It was time for me to intervene. (more…)
This is the third of a four-part saga. If you missed parts one and two, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read part 1 and here to read part 2.)
###
The food came before she could get too bored or too disgruntled, but when it came, she was a little dismayed at all the choices laid out in front of her. To deal with her mealtime confusion, she has adopted a one-thing-at-a-time method of eating. I don’t know if the eggs looked the most appetizing or the least intimidating, but that’s where she started. While she worked to cut off a bite-sized piece with the edge of her fork, I took charge of her pancake-filled saucer. I spread the butter, cut the pancakes into manageable pieces, and doused the whole thing with syrup. (more…)
This is the second of a four-part saga. If you missed yesterday’s post, you might want to back up and start from the beginning. (Click here to read yesterday’s post.)
###
After the blood tests were finished, we got back into the car with a minimum of confusion and headed for the Village Inn. With the odds at 2 to 1, I didn’t want to go somewhere I had to order at a counter or go through a buffet line. I wanted to sit at a table, order our food, and have it brought to us. The Village Inn fit that bill, and it was Wednesday, so we got free pie, too. I pulled into a parking space close to the door and prayed for a nice, peaceful breakfast. (more…)
I was going through some old files last night looking for an outline I thought I had started on a book idea. I never found the outline, but I came across something I wrote on November 3, 2010 after taking Mom and Dad to the lab to have some bloodwork done and then out to breakfast. It was just six weeks before they moved from my home into an assisted living facility near my brother Jim. I was rapidly approaching burnout, and I wrote this saga to get rid of some of the tension from the outing. I posted it in my Facebook notes, but I didn’t start my blog until six or seven months later, so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s rather long, so I’ve broken it into four parts and will publish a part each day from now through Friday.
###
It’s 10:30 in the morning, and I’m exhausted. Today was test day for Mom and Dad. They have their six-month check-up with their PCP next week, and they had an appointment at 8:40 this morning at the lab. Since they had to go in fasting, I planned to take them to breakfast afterward. I knew it would be an adventure. I was right. (more…)
Image via CrunchBase
I recently read an article on the CaringBridge website titled We’re Celebrating National Caregiver Month – and You. The article talked about what was special about caregivers and invited caregivers to leave comments about why they do what they do, what makes a good caregiver and advice to other caregivers. Always hoping that my experience can be of some help to others, I left a short comment, but I continued to think about National Caregiver Month. Special times devoted to special people are often celebrated by giving gifts or doing something special for the honoree, and I thought about some of the special things people did for me while I was a caregiver. There were lots, but one day in particular stood out in my mind. (more…)
I almost began this post with I haven’t written much in the last week or so, but that’s not really accurate. I’ve written a lot: agendas for meetings; e-mails announcing meetings and encouraging people to attend; copy for flyers, posters and the church website; more e-mails answering questions. Our church is hosting an area-wide ladies’ conference in January, and our pastor asked me to coordinate the event. If I could re-wind to that moment when I said Sure, why not, I might think again before answering.
Seriously, I’m enjoying the experience, and the response from people who are willing to help has been amazing, but it’s also amazing how much time and focus is required. Something else that is amazing is how, in spite of no longer being directly involved with Alzheimer’s and being totally focused on something other than my writings about caring for those with the disease, I am still faced with Alzheimer’s again and again. (more…)
Becoming a caregiver is not something most of us plan for, go to school for, or train for. When I became a full-time caregiver, I had no idea of how to do it well or how to deal with the difficulties I encountered. I expected to find lots of help in Florida where the population is decidedly on the gray side. Although I found a few sources, websites were confusing and hard to negotiate, and agencies were even more confusing and difficult. What I really wanted was to sit with experienced caregivers who could tell me what to do. I talked with the counseling pastor at my church, and as often happens when you point out a need, he agreed and suggested that I start a group. The short version is that after much thought, prayer, and the agreement of another couple to partner with us, David and I became facilitators of a caregivers’ support group. Following are my opening remarks from our first meeting: (more…)
The story of a lonely, innocent girl who gets tangled up in the sex trafficking trade in a small Texas town. It’s about her relationship with Eric, a slick suburban pimp; Jesse, a Christian tattoo artist and motorcycle rider; and Mrs. G, a compassionate but tough attorney and foster parent.
Linda Brendle's Life After Caregiving 