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Posts tagged ‘Guilt’

One Way to Deal with Caregiver Guilt | by Linda Brendle

GuiltAs a dementia caregiver, I lived under a perpetual load of guilt. It was not true, rational guilt that came from wrongdoing, but rather a constant vague feeling of unrest that continually ate at me. No matter how good a job I was doing, I never felt like I was doing enough. No matter how well I handled a situation, I always felt like I could have done better. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had the unrealistic idea that if I did everything right, Mom and Dad would get better. When this didn’t happen, when they continued to slip away from me, I wrestled with the feeling that they were losing the battle and that somehow it was my fault.

For several years I helped facilitate a caregiver support group at my church, and I discovered that I was not alone in my struggle with guilt. Most of the members of the group dealt with the same issue. We knew that, for the most part, our feelings were unfounded and that we were doing the best job possible under the circumstances. We focused a lot of attention on encouraging each other and finding ways to overcome this guilt. (more…)

Just a Dream

I dreamed about Mom and Dad last night. I do that quite a bit lately. I guess it’s my subconscious working through the grief of Dad’s death and the nagging guilt that caregivers feel about this decision or that situation that could have been resolved differently or handled better. When I woke up at 4:30, the dream was clear, and I mentally composed a brilliant blog post around it. I should have gotten up and written it then or at least (more…)

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